I’ve been holding grudges
I’ve been making waves
Something’s rumbling
Pulling me back underneath
My strength it wains
My strength it wains
When the sky goes grey
My strength it wains
So I find myself asking why
These dreams still keep me up at night
And why I still want to die
‘Cause the thoughts so blue that make me sick
Still flood my brain and inhabit
The sleep I won’t get tonight
So I’ll cry all night
I won’t try to fight the tears that come
And I’ll try to not need anyone
So is this restful sleep or just depression napping?
Why is self-reflection always pressure mapping my
Self-destructive tendencies?
I can’t seem to shake ‘em
When every day it gets harder just to wake up
I might claim to have faith but it’s overreaching
And forcing me down to this unstable plane
Something changed, something changed
It broke my walls down
Then built them up ‘til I knew
I’d never break them down for you
But the weight you gave still holds me down
Still holds me
I’ll still be up all night
But this time I might find the light in me
We’ll see, maybe saving me
From my own frivolity could light a spark that sets me free
All I can really say for sure is that this cycle’s so draining
It’s draining me
credits
from in sickness and in hell,
released January 15, 2021
performed, tracked, and mixed by RB Roe
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